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how often at night

by palace oaks

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1.
sleep walker 02:04
(instrumental)
2.
all your city streets scare the shit out of me when the wind blows by it still gives me the creeps so i brush my hair with matches to feel some warmth upon me you take a life with one hand i wanted to set it free we’re living in a cruel world & you’ve been singing hallelujah if only i could see you if only one more day would it crash our cars together? & would i walk away? we’re living in a cruel world & you’ve been singing hallelujah
3.
i will be the one to tell you something you haven't heard yet but i feel nothing when you’re beside me & you’re always beside me beside me there’s something surprising i am the dust between your thumb & your finger i am the tension in the air when your voice lingers & i am the smoke in the room until i fade out of view & we’re nothing conspiring nothing inspiring nothing reminding nothing dividing nothing deciding
4.
(instrumental)
5.
i'm trying to medicate swallow my pity wish you'd stay with me tell me it's easy cut me a bouquet don't let go lace your fingers around my throat make it safe i'm afraid i swear i don't believe in much a halo below & your halo above i got your petal on the tip of my tongue call it ritual call it protection i'm trying to medicate erase my body replace it with anything place it beside you
6.
greyscale 04:27
i woke up around two o clock & out came the words that i'd like to outgrow "well, this day's almost done guess i'll try again tomorrow" i'll make myself some coffee & maybe try & write a song to sing to myself about how it feels like everything just feels wrong & it's not getting better guess it's not really gotten worse instead of making myself ruminate on my defeats i should start to rehearse my thank you's & my today is going fine for the same cashiers at the cafes & the liquor stores i hope they never remember my name i'll sit & watch the sky turn from its neglected cigarette smoke grey to black to match these tattered shoes in which i'll one day walk away maybe it'll be tomorrow maybe i'll give it one more year maybe i just haven't found enough places to hide the same incorrigible fears maybe one day these cold fingertips will surrender their grip from my shoulders & i'll be more than a few thousand pieces on the ground & i'll sing rejoice the war is over but for now tomorrow is just one more day to hide behind locked doors & under your sheets try your best to muster up the strength to wander through these city streets
7.
babe i love you please don't turn the lights out on me i love you babe please don't turn your love off, darling & when you go where do you go? i don't know why don't i know? & your love doesn't keep me alive it keeps me awake it keeps me awake & will we say goodbye when we want to? when we want to & we will say goodbye when we want to when we want to
8.
maybe i’ll be fine in the centre maybe one day i won’t remember & i’ll be lifted up to heaven or far away well if only i pray if all my life doesn’t keep you around it wont’t keep me up won’t keep me down i'll be fine 'cause i'm alive & that's alright yeah, i'll survive 'cause i'm alive & that's alright
9.
empty house 03:47
(instrumental)

credits

released March 13, 2020

guitar, vocals, bass, piano, drums, songwriting, album art, production - madeleine young

'st. john's wort' originally by pity sex

this album is dedicated to everyone who has kept me safe and made me feel at home in their presence throughout the years. i love you all endlessly.

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palace oaks Victoria, British Columbia

pretty okay.

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